20/20 Visions | Jenngem

I am going to preface this by saying I am beyond sorry that I have not posted anything but sponsored posts as of lately. Money has been tight, which I will explain why in the blog post below. I also have a ton of product reviews to catch up on. So, be prepared!

Wow. To say that this year has been a whirlwind is an understatement. The year certainly started off innocently enough.

I was blessed on April 17th at 9:41AM with a beautiful nephew when my little sister had her baby boy, Dante Michael. Cool name, right? He was 8 pounds and 1 ounce and 20 inches long. As of writing this, the boy is growing like a weed! He is seven months now and is the sweetest little mush that I have ever seen.

Just look at those eyelashes! 

But as you know, I have lived with chronic pain and passing out, due to my severe endometriosis for years. Nine years to be exact. Well, let's fast forward to June of this past year.

I was placed in the hospital for bleeding, and I was in severe pain. We're talking 2 milligrams of intravenous Dilaudid every four hours severe. Absolute agony I was in. The hospitalist and I just wished I could remember her name, so I could thank her, suggested a hysterectomy. I thought to myself, "No one is going to do that this soon." She suggested I call my OB/GYN to see if he would do an emergency one.

Turns out, he was on vacation. But, she gave me the number of two other doctors, so I decided to take the leap and call one of them. Lo and behold, I spoke to the doctor, and he said if I could come to him and his hospital - Hackensack Meridian Health Medical Center, which is about an hour-and-a-half from where we are, he would do it. But I would have to go through all the hoops of the emergency room again.

So, my husband and I hopped into the car and away we went. We did the whole emergency room thing. They gave me pain medication to make me comfortable, examined me and of course did an ultrasound. The doctor's associates came to see me. I was asleep in the emergency room overnight until I could be moved to a sort of surgical waiting area, where other fellow people waiting for various surgeries were also in beds being taken care of.

Originally, it was meant to be done on a Friday but was moved to Saturday at 7AM. But then the time was moved again to 12PM. All the waiting, of course, had me anxious and jumping around in my head with second thoughts. Did I really want to do this? This means I would never have children again. But, with a deep breath, after all the asking of the doctor trying to talk me out of it (I'm only 29), I was wheeled to surgery and put under.

Three-and-a-half hours later I woke up. The removed my cervix, fallopian tubes, and uterus. Just leaving my left ovary, so I wouldn't immediately go into menopause. Recovery wasn't fun, but I did it.

Note the fanciful IV poles.

Now we're fast-forwarding to a month or so later when my husband and I decided that it was best that we get a divorce. Believe me, it is amicable, and for the best. We make better friends. I know I am not the only one that this has happened to. In the midst of all this chaos of recovery and trying to figure things out, I ended up reconnecting with my old high-school boyfriend.

You can judge me all you want. I have learned that it really does not matter to me anymore. I'm learning to live life for me, well, Syrus first, really, but then me. I do deserve happiness. My high school sweetheart, Jonathan and I have been together for approximately four months and we are both happier than ever. Before you ask, no, I am not divorced yet, I am in the process, though. However, my soon-to-be-ex-husband gave me his blessing.

In August, I ended up doubling over while at my boyfriend's house. As luck would have it, that ovary that they left behind during the hysterectomy? It had a giant cyst on it. So, they took the whole thing, ovary and all. I literally have no female parts left. I was pain-free for about two months. Until about two weeks ago. I passed out again. Unfortunately, hysterectomy is not a cure, and I knew that, but took that risk. I am on Orilissa twice daily and some pain medication for when it gets really bad.

I also turned my Interstim back on. Hopefully, between all of this, something will kick in and help. I was okay once, I will be okay again. I just have to have faith that everything will work out. Right now, I am focusing on taking care of Syrus, my jewelry making, and getting ready for the holidays. I think they are going to be wonderful!

I believe that 2020 is going to be my year, for many, many reasons. I am looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for me. I know that it is going to be amazing.

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